Like some humans, I have a constant need to be heading somewhere. I am not cut out for the whole “sitting at the porch and waiting for death” routine. In fact, I am not cut out for routine at all.
As I look at the people around me I cannot imagine how it’s possible that some of them have been coming to the same building, staring at the same desk, and doing the same choirs for over 10 years.
Go to work, go home; Go to work, go home. Repeat a few times. Die. Is that it?
If I were God, I’d interfere… specially since this killer routine refers to the lucky people on this Earth. The ones who have a job and a home to go to.
Shit, that’s messed up. – on my humble opinion.
I wish we could all just wake up every day and think “what kind of exciting new adventure are we having today?” you know… probably the way rich people live – until they realize it’s all so easy and start doing drugs. But that’s not what I’m writing about today.
Well, I obviously am not rich, so let’s cross that off of my list…
Instead, I decided to make a plan for the future. Not the “one day I might…” kind of future, but this year’s future. I made that decision the other day when I got home and realized life was kind of all figured out and I wasn’t that excited about it.
I was very thankful we were all healthy and happy. Don’t get me wrong! I am oh-so-thankful. Yet, I was surprisingly bored.
I had had my beautiful daughters, moved to another country, got a pretty decent job, we moved to our first real house (not a basement anymore!) and we finally got a car.
I set on the couch and stared at the wall. For some reason I couldn’t enjoy the quiet. I was not quiet inside. I wanted to jump, explore, go somewhere, change the world, bake a cake… just figure out where I was going next! There was no way that couch was my final destination in life even though it was a pretty nice couch with everyone I loved around me. I could stare at my girls forever, but I also wanted to enjoy the ride a little bit more… since we had been blessed with a pretty smooth ride.
I decided I’d learn a new language and visit the oh-so-beautiful French speaking cities in Canada. Who knows… maybe it’ll be love at first sight and we’ll end up moving there.
Hey, Shell… are you projecting your problems into the city you live and thinking that by moving away oh-so-many times you won’t bring your problems with you?
Well, dear reader… I have thought about that and the answer is ” not really”.
I was very excited to leave Brazil and then very excited to leave Ajax. If I couldn’t move anymore I would definitely stay in Ottawa. It is by far the best place we have lived (taking in consideration stuff that is important to our family and other families might think differently). We are learning about a new place and we have the “privilege” to be alone here, which allows us to move around without having to cut any strings.
For as beautiful as downtown Ottawa is, it does not compare – to me – to Montreal or Quebec. I do like it a LOT better than Toronto… but I’m not in love.
I wanna be in love! And it looks pretty easy… look:
The architect inside be needs to be around very, very old and warm looking buildings and the husband put his foot down on the whole moving to Europe idea (we are greatly afraid of the upcoming world war =/ )… so, that’s it. I need to see it. I need to fall in love with a place before I write our story there. Explore, until we find our new home. Start over. Delete the old entries on this blog.
Sounds like a plan to me!
What will you be doing next?