I’ll start over 1000 times.

I feel better.

I do!

Which is not really a surprise considering there was nothing exactly wrong before, except for my fear that something could go wrong…

Pretty complex. I know. I have a beautiful mind, thank you.

So, I am learning to enjoy life without being afraid. Without feeling guilty that apparently no one else gets it their way but me. Specially since… that’s not really true. I wanna thank the girls who married Hanson and had an enormous number of beautiful, healthy children for reminding me of that every day, actually.

not afraid macaulay

So, I don’t wanna keep reading about the confusing, blurred, scary days!

Therefore, I’ll hide my old posts. (most of them) Hence, the giant gaps between posts.

Let’s hit refresh.

Once again.

And I’ll bring them back when I’m ready.

Or not.

Life is about starting over, reinventing yourself.

Statisticaly, the more you a appreciate life, the less it comes back and kick you… right there.


Let’s try that. For today. You might be a little less prone to be screwed if you do.


A thank you letter to the 3 boys I never met.

When I was 16 years old,  I had a small collection of Hanson singles. One day, I came home from school and they were all broken.

It had been my mom.

She was desperate to see the daughter that she, for some reason considered to be brilliant, going down that wrong road. “Where are you going with this?” she’d say to me.

See, I was not allowed to listen to music. ‘Cause music was for people in love and I was not supposed to fall in love, I should focus on studying. So these kids came along, and she thought their music could only be about ya know… kid stuff. Therefore, I could listen to it.

But as she saw how much time I’d spend in front of the computer because of them, she didn’t approve it so much anymore. Heck, she didn’t approve it at all.

Still, I insisted on listening to them. I built a Hanson website, I learned English and I became an architect under their influence.

Later, I came to Canada, because I could speak the English I had learned from their songs, I got a decent job mostly because of the stuff I learned while keeping my Hanson website up and, 2 days ago, I finally, for the first time, was at the first row of a Hanson concert.

And just ’cause the world goes round (and I had no place to “leave her”) … my mom was standing right next to me on that front row.

She was proud of the person I had become because of the 3 boys I never met and I wanted to thank them so much! I wanted them to know that they’ve made everything possible but it’d probably sound so random and empty if I ever did. So, I came here (and it doesn’t look like it, but I really DID keep this short)

I guess we all have our Hanson stories…

I find mine pretty ironic.

Thanks for Everything, Isaac, Taylor & Zac. I can honestly say you made me who I am today.