I refuse to be angry.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no Ned Flanders.

Homer-Listening-to-Flanders

But I still want to reserve myself the right to refuse to be too angry from now on. And I don’t mean hating the door nob when I bang my elbow against it.  I mean feeling what I felt a couple weeks ago – Read here.

Going to bed and waking up STILL angry was such a terrible experience! I could feel it changing my body. It made my stomach hurt, my mind was blurred and everything was bitter. I didn’t eat at all and my girl’s tummies were *funny* (if you know what I mean). They were nervous too. They felt it.

I hated it.

It got me wondering HOW CAN SOME PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS CONSTANTLY? How can someone just handle so much hate? Doesn’t your body react to that? I mean, don’t you eventually DIE from anger?

Actually, yes, you do. Just like the Monks don’t get cancer or Alzheimer’s or heart attacks – read here – , angry people make themselves sick. (Well, not that ANGER is the cause of these nasty things 100% of the time, duh. But there IS a real percentage of cases attributed to it.)

I am not surprised at all. It was a terrible, terrible feeling… no wonder your body gets exhausted trying to keep it going. I only felt it for a day and I was crawling.

So, there you have it. All you fucking assholes can just go on being assholes and I’ll try my best to replying with a “well… fuck it.”.

You won’t stop annoying me… but letting you go feels so much better than being angry at you that I’ll go with that.

Let’s all enjoy the last weekend of Summer instead.

my girls

Long weekend

Long weekends are wonderful! Now that the girls are sleeping through the night and not on diapers anymore I actually found the time to put on make up – which I swear I hadn’t in YEARS – and smell the rain… I’m telling you, it’s amazing.

We were supposed to visit Quebec city this weekend and boy, was I excited. Except, we ended up not going ’cause my husband’s dad had a change of heart – to make a long story short.

Yeah, I was disappointed. VERY disappointed.

Fine! I was sobbing at one point!

I feel like Quebec city is gonna be our final destination here in Canada. I feel like it’s gonna be home! I can’t wait to go home. I am desperate to go home…

At one point my husband looked at me and said “we should get you your camera”. Which made very little sense through all the sobbing but I knew I had to say “yes”. I mean, I had been waiting to get the stupid camera for at least 17 years.

So, we did and quickly I was “kinda-ok” with postponing our trip indefinitely.

For the rest of the weekend, the 4 of us were trapped in the house, but I didn’t mind.

I studied French as much as I could (I still suck at it) and later I played with my camera as my girls played with their little trains….

minhas-meninas

Outside there were beautiful thunders and the bluest skies.

chuva

And then, just like that, Tuesday came and I found myself longing for the next long weekend.

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