There was a time in my life when reality wasn’t a friend. I’d choose to stay in bed for hours after waking up , daydreaming about something far more interesting than getting up to walk from my room to the kitchen and back again about 20 times before it was time to bed again.
I had a list of movies in my head I was starring. I’d play them over and over, change the scenarios, change the endings and my co-stars. This was basically me, daydreaming about Johnny Depp, Chad Michael Murray, Macaulay Culkin, Kieran Culkin, Zac Hanson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jared Leto and the guy from Scrubs… to name a few. Yes, I’ve had my share of daydreams.
I guess most girls daydream about some hot guy from school asking them out or whatever. I do not know how normal girls behave actually, but I did that too. Then, one day I realized it was really embarrassing and rather disappointing. The boy in my head was not the boy I met at school the other day, so, if I spent those endless hours at the bus imagining what it would be like to run into Jordan Catalano back in 1994, there was no way I’d ever be disappointed by him in real life. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t reject me. It didn’t hurt.
But things change.
If you told me a couple years ago things would change I wouldn’t believe you. I had no faith and the numbers were against me.
So, now I’m tired. Exhausted. I use my hands to climb the stairs… Still, I can’t sleep. I don’t want to. I wanna live and enjoy the moments and this place. Reality has taken over and I no longer wake up to daydreams. I no longer stay in bed wishing things were different.
I do miss my free time – ’cause I’ll always find a reason to complain – but I might dare saying I’m living the dream.
The dream isn’t over yet and it isn’t complete, but I’m glad I’m awake to see what happens next.
Things change, people. They really do.